-photo by Adam Newsham

Sigils

 

Aviation Administration

I lay awake at night thinking about the architecture.

The ballast fell away the march of years in time took over.

Onlookers in the street covered their ears and eyes on that day.

It made the local news, but didn't have the wings for national.

The preservation association 

would've been appalled

but the future never called.

A common bird was winging softly past a wrecking ball.

She made it through unfazed only a wave through the air swayed her.

For days she aviated past the planes and over long hills.

Until she came to a rumored place where she was unusual.

The Aviation Administration

tried to count their charge, but the sparrows were at large.

 

Blameless

You were not wrong,

You were not right,

you were yourself, and that's just fine.

I was so young, but not enough 

to easily call your bluff,

and I don't blame you.

I don't blame you.

Those heady years were all we knew

until a sober arrow pierced through.

You were not young,

and not yet old,

you had gravity in your fold,

and I don't blame you.

I don't blame you. 

No, I don't blame you.

I don't blame you.

 

Pastense

It's true, it started with pursuit.

But you agreed to that future with me.

Imagine my surprise,

after all we'd shared,

you refused the fare.

As I board alone,

your curse from behind sully memories of home.

If there ever was a point to this

please, tell me now.

Now here you are

after all this time has passed.

All smiling eyes and open arms

and you have the nerve to ask

if I ever think back to then?

And would I consider giving it a go again?

What you say, and what it means

to me are not the same, and

I'll not be dancing on my dashed hope's grave.

If there ever was a point to this

please, tell me now.

 

Datura

Invasive seed tended tenderly

in a fertile sepulcher.

The purity of perfect blossom 

belie her brutality.

Datura round and white, spread your petals in the night.

Atropa Bella Dona luminous alluring sight.

You want the air that I breathe to be poison and you are.

The darkness you wish on me is the darkness in your heart.

The bitterness with which you regard me is your own.

That poison draped in a smile, it is your tome.

Under sleepy spell of sundown

rises up the sweetest scent.

Who could guess those pendulous petals

would warrant such regret?

Datura round and white, spread your petals in the night.

Atropa Bella Dona luminous alluring sight.

You want the air that I breathe to be poison and you are.

The darkness you wish on me is the darkness in your heart.

The bitterness with which you regard me is your own.

That poison draped in a smile, it is your tome.

 

Sands

I had that dream again.

Pushing through a corridor.

Searching for a quiet corner.

Couldn't find one anywhere.

No refuge in sleep.

I had that dream again.

The walls were all but gone.

Wind and rain lashing at me.

The night cast as a demon.

No refuge in sleep.

There is no refuge in this sleep.

In Morpheus' arms there is no peace.

I had that dream again.

Candle's flame blinks rapidly.

Common objects breathe and writhe,

embodying anxiety.

No refuge in sleep.

I had that dream again.

He took form as an owl.

Flying in from the north,

landing on the handrail. 

No refuge in sleep.

There is no refuge in this sleep.

In Morpheus' arms there is no peace.

 

Lately

Lately, 

I don't feel the same.

I'm afraid that I won't change.

I don't want to be this way

forever. And I'm afraid I will not change.

I have always savored

the sensation of abandon

(and can I change?)

I struggle with the weight of

of a pebble,of a pebble!

(and can I change?)

An ancestral ghost haunts me.

And every time he leaves 

he takes a piece of me.

And if I can ever exorcise him,

could I recover them? 

All those pieces of me?

Lately, 

I don't feel the same.

I'm afraid that I won't change.

(and can I change?)

I have always savored

the sensation of abandon.

(and can I change?)

 

Beltless

Nine years,

two careers,

bath towels

and chandeliers.

Details

of daily life

turned towering 

sacrifice.

How long did you know?

Why didn't you say so before?

These past

nine years

've been mostly good, dear.

But you'll have your way

so I won't stay.

You push and say that you need more.

The march of years have left me cold.

I don't want to have a baby.

I don't want to raise a family.

How long did you know? 

Why didn't you say so before?

You should have grown yourself a spine!

You let my fruit dry on the vine!

I don't want to have a baby.

I don't want to raise a family.

 

Feathers

I used to walk along these paths

before they poured the asphalt.

I'd had a way around here once.

This is supposedly the same terrain,

and my limbs move the same,

but my feet tread the unknown.

The entire time I was gone

there was a fleet on the ground.

needy and narrow interests

knocking down icons of my memories.

I know that change is constant and

it's hardest at the confluence.

The stories twist to meet the ends.

Veracity and fantasy infuse the parable.

And like a bird of prey it soars.

And shedding feathers everywhere,

we try to pluck them from the air,

but the wind carries them still 

swirling soft assassinations.

 

Cruel Harvest

Teach them young and let them lead the way.

That's the kind of thing we heard them say.

But in this obsession there's a truth.

It's not that we value the youth,

it's that we fear the long tooth.

Back when I was a child

I heard the mall punks say it loud

"Eat the rich"

they say it still.

But there's a cruel harvest.

There's a Swift pill.

The time has come when the flush

harvest youth from the flesh of us.

Looking for a safe house they keep gathering. 

Hunger keeps 'em Swiftly gathering.

It's not true, what was sung.

It's the rich.

They eat the young.

 

Stylish Woes

It's never cool and calm.

Always sounding alarms.

We make love to our fear.

Cloistered and cowering here.

We empower every annoyance

To ignore our dire offense.

Radios and talk shows

sponsor and glamorize 

our stylish woes.

We fear the food we eat.

We diagnose our sleep.

We empower every annoyance.

To ignore our dire offense.

 

 

Silverwalks

 

 

Kill It With Fire

I try, I do

For one, not two

My efforts are worthless with love like yours

Your indiscretion burns me to the core.

I heard when you had come to

the 5 were 4 and not the core

the poison on their lips caused me to grieve.

I couldn't get myself to believe.

Kill it with Fire

I try to satisfy my desires.

I try, or I kill these with fire.

Who among us hasn't touched a flame?

Who among us has remained the same?

I heard that you had become two

and that a third had fled with you.

The protein that we are is subject to

the compounds and the fire we put it through.

Kill it with fire.

 

 

Just Friends

I remember when we were just friends.

And the feeling washing over when

I first came to know that I was yours,

and I ached to see you more and more.

When the iris were in bloom

I began to long for you.

At all times dreaming of

the physicality of love.

 

I remember when we were just friends.

And the night that altered everything.

Four AM and standing on the stair.

Greedy hands and what they brought to bare.

In the fresh light of the morning

we glow under the curtain.

I have found my minds eye lingers on 

these details as time goes on.

Face me, baby.

Face me, baby.

Cater to you now.

Win me over, you know how.

 

Ghryme

Black hole inside of me,

consuming endlessly.

I'll not be satisfied as I become the void.

I don't put up a fight,

I dim the light.

It won't be long until I put them out.

Flying close to the flame.

Drawn in by the flame.

Again I overfill,

defer to ferment's will.

Wipe clean my memory,

that I may be replaced.

It is a slow descent.

A million little deaths.

Propelled by repetition,

burdened by the song.

Flying close to the flame,

drawn in by the flame.

Flying close to the flame,

drawn in by the flame

 

Flowers For Flores

At the coast I watch the storm,

the airplanes and the buzzards swarm.

The overwhelming smell of pestilence and petrol swell,

I read you'd died just where you fell.

I'd heard you'd needed peace of mind.

fated for it in due time.

Except for winters in Vermont you had a new life,

and for you it was a true life.

With isopropyl bowls aflame

I conjure you, repeat your name

With isopropyl bowls aflame

I conjure you, repeat your name

So deeply called to this place

where your senses come awake,

you brought a chest full of tempera brushes and nails.

In Jacmel you painted sails.

With isopropyl bowls aflame

I conjure you, repeat your name

To ensure the peace you crave

I'll bring flowers to your grave.

 

Glowing

I never intended to be cruel.

Intention won't excuse.

And you point to this.

How can I dismiss it?

Tone of voice says so much.

A go to is a given.

This point cuts deep,

it hurts.

This point cuts deep,

it hurts.

It's obvious,

I am fallible,

carelessly cruel.

This point cuts deep,

it hurts.

This point cuts deep,

it hurts.

 

Perfect Love Notes

Gales are the tortured cries

of distant, unrequited love

pining, ever pining under the moon above.

Glorious and glowing she gazes at the sea.

Not to view the sparkling waters,

but to confirm her stark beauty.

Oh! Do you hear me?

Oh! Can you see me at all?

Oh! And are you aware 

that I'm down here at all?

The gulls fly towards the heavens.

Perfect love notes from below.

Never reach their destination.

(they) Exercise eternal hope.

Oh! Do you hear me?

Oh! Can you see me at all?

Oh! And are you aware 

that I'm down here at all?

 

The Ledger

At home

hovered over the ledger. 

I was unaware

you were keeping track.

Couture weight on your back.

Oh, the time it takes you to accumulate

enough infractions

to justify extraction.

I didn't know

you play dirty.

I didn't know it was a game.

How long does it take 

to swing once and strike?

Swing twice and strike?

Swing three times and strike out?

I didn't know you play dirty.

I don't know you were playing games.

 

Waterchase

After amps were turned off,

and the lamps were turned on,

conversation turned to how we were doing it wrong.

And how do we do it right?

Create a life we can occupy? 

A love that burns long and bright,

for the balance of our lives?

You said "don't put me out of your head"

You said "don't you just try to forget"

In those evenings,

in the early spring,

I began to think

there was more to this thing.

After such an embrace,

it's difficult not to face.

You said "don't put this out of your head"

You said "don't you just try to forget"

So how do we do it right? 

Create a life we can occupy? 

A love that burns long and bright?

For the balance of our lives.

 

The Valley

When I walk again through

the valley of our past 

I know that I am lost from you.

Loyalties are fleeting 

when carelessly treated.

The unkempt tree bears bitter fruit.

Our carass needs seasons.

Rain and sun and room to reach.

Our carass needs

a season next to then retreat.

When I let my mind drift

to the springtime of our love

I thought we were perennial.

To hope that we would grow,

to blossom and to bear fruit, I know that this is natural.

Our carass needs air to breathe,

nourishment and air to breathe.

Our carass needs a cozy place to then retreat.

As I walk again through

the valley of our past,

I know that I am lost from you.

As I walk again through

the valley of our past,

I know that I am lost from you.

As I walk again through

the valley of our past,

I know that I am lost from you.

 

Orison

We gathered at the far spring

under morning's first birdsong.

Armed with nerve and Icons.

Three moons until we'd reach the summit

Iron-stone wall.

What strange words could inspire Orison?

Cause us to turn our backs upon our own warm homes?

To stalk the promise of illumination.

Some competition with the sun?

Some familiar places

had some alleged magic or corrosive qualities.

Not that we had had the daring to discover. 

Until then, that's what we'd believed.

What strange words could inspire Orison?

Cause us to turn our backs upon our own warm homes?

To stalk the promise of illumination.

Some competition with the sun?

Our fortune was receding.

Some kind of curse upon us or this land.

Not that we had ever understood the story.

If one could even call it that.

What strange words could inspire Orison?

Cause us to turn our backs upon our own warm homes?

To stalk the promise of illumination.

Some competition with the sun?

 

 

 

Get Out

I can forgive you now.

I can forgive you now.

I don't need to talk it out.

I don't see your ghost around.

I can have compassion for you now.

It's the only way I can get out.

It's about me.

I'm done nursing this open wound.

I'm done turning it over. I'm asserting amnesty.

I can forgive you now.

I can forgive you now.

I don't need to understand.

I don't want to be your friend.

I can have compassion for you now.

It's the only way I can get out.

It's about me.

I'm done nursing this open wound.

I'm done turning it over. I'm asserting amnesty.